Talk to your child about the dangers of tobacco, alcohol, and drugs. Knowing the facts will help your child make healthy choices.

<h4>What do I need to say?</h4>

When you talk to your child about tobacco, alcohol, and drugs:

<ul>
	<li>Find out what they already know</li>
	<li>Teach them the facts</li>
	<li>Give them clear rules</li>
	<li>Be prepared to answer your child’s questions</li>
	<li>Talk with them about how to say “no"</li>
</ul>

The Basics: Overview

<h4>When should I start talking with my child?</h4>

Start early. By preschool, most children have seen adults smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol, either in real life, on TV, or online.

Make sure your child knows right from the start that you think it’s important to stay safe and avoid drugs.

Here are more reasons to start the conversation early:

<ul>
	<li>Almost 9 out of 10 smokers start smoking before they turn 18</li>
	<li>By the time they're in 8th grade, most children say alcohol is easy to get</li>
	<li>At age 12, some kids are already using drugs like marijuana or prescription pain relievers</li>
</ul>

<h5>What if my child is older?</h5>

It’s never too late to start the conversation about avoiding drugs. Even if your teen may have tried tobacco, alcohol, or drugs, you can still talk about making healthy choices and how to say “no” next time.

Get more tips to&nbsp;<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/tween-and-teen-health/in-depth/teen-drug-abuse/art-20045921?p=1&_label_=help+your+teen+stay+away+from+drugs" id="anch_41">help your teen stay away from drugs</a>.

The Basics: When to Start

<h4>What do I need to know about prescriptions and other medicines?</h4>

When you talk to your child about the dangers of drugs, don’t forget about drugs that may already be in your home, like prescription or over-the-counter (OTC) drugs.

Prescription or OTC drug misuse is when a person uses a drug to get high. People might misuse drugs by:

<ul>
	<li>Taking too much of a prescription or OTC drug</li>
	<li>Taking&nbsp;a prescription drug prescribed to someone else</li>
</ul>

When not taken safely, prescription and OTC medicines can be just as addictive and dangerous as other drugs.

Commonly misused prescription or OTC drugs include:

<ul>
	<li>Opioid pain killers, like Vicodin, OxyContin, or codeine</li>
	<li>Medicines used for anxiety or sleep problems, like Valium or Xanax</li>
	<li>Medicines that treat ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), like Adderall or Ritalin</li>
</ul>

Make sure to talk to your child about the dangers of prescription drug misuse.&nbsp;<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/teens.drugabuse.gov/peerx/prescription-drug-facts/?_label_=Share+this+website+about+prescription+and+OTC+drug+misuse" id="anch_44">Share this website about prescription and OTC drug misuse</a>&nbsp;with them.

Set a good example:

<ul>
	<li>Never take someone else’s prescription medicine or give yours to anyone else</li>
	<li>Keep track of the medicines in your home, and store them in a locked cabinet</li>
	<li>Get rid of unused medicines safely</li>
</ul>

The Basics: Medicine Misuse

<h4>Why do I need to talk to my child?</h4>

Research shows that kids do listen to their parents. Children who learn about drug risks from their parents are less likely to start using drugs.

When kids choose not to use alcohol or drugs, they're also less likely&nbsp;to:

<ul>
	<li>Have serious trouble in school</li>
	<li>Get hurt in a car accident</li>
	<li>Be a victim of crime</li>
	<li>Have a problem with addiction as an adult</li>
</ul>

If you don't talk about it, your child may think it’s okay to use alcohol and other&nbsp;drugs.

The Basics: Why It Matters

Talk with your child about tobacco, alcohol, and drugs today — and keep the conversation going.

<h4>Talk with your child early and often.</h4>

Start conversations about your values and expectations while your child is young. Your child will get used to sharing information and opinions with you. This will make it easier for you to continue talking as they get older.

Here are some tips&nbsp;for talking with your child about tobacco, alcohol, and drugs:

<ul>
	<li>Use everyday events to start a conversation. For example, if you see a group of kids smoking, talk about how tobacco harms the body.</li>
	<li>Give your child your full attention. Turn off your TV, radio, cell phone, and computer&nbsp;— and really listen.</li>
	<li>Try not to “talk at” your child. Encourage your child to ask questions. If you don’t know the answer to a question, look it up together.</li>
	<li><a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/talk_about_drugs.html?_label_=Find+age-appropriate+ways+to+talk+to+your+child+about+drugs" id="anch_49">Find age-appropriate ways to talk to your child about drugs</a>.&nbsp;</li>
	<li><a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.samhsa.gov/talk-they-hear-you/parent-resources/answering-your-childs-tough-questions?_label_=Get+more+tips+on+how+to+have+a+conversation+with+your+child" id="anch_50">Get more tips on how to have a conversation with your child</a>.</li>
</ul>

Take Action: Start Talking

<h4>Teach your child the facts.</h4>

Your child needs to know how drugs can harm the brain, affect the body,&nbsp;and cause problems at home and in school. Kids who know the facts are more likely to make good choices.&nbsp;Here are some facts you can share with your child:

<ul>
	<li>If your child likes sports, focus on how smoking can affect athletic performance. Or you can say that tobacco causes bad breath and yellow teeth.&nbsp;<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/www.cdc.gov/tobacco/basic_information/youth/information-sheet/index.htm?_label_=Get+the+facts+on+tobacco" id="anch_53">Get the facts on tobacco</a>.</li>
	<li>Remind your child that alcohol is a powerful drug that slows down the body and brain.&nbsp;<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/MakeADiff_HTML/makediff.htm?_hash_=Talkingwith&_label_=Get+the+facts+on+alcohol" id="anch_54">Get the facts on alcohol</a>.</li>
	<li>Tell your child how other drugs — like steroids, marijuana, and prescription medicines — affect the brain and body.&nbsp;<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/teens.drugabuse.gov/facts/index.php?_label_=Get+the+facts+on+other+drugs" id="anch_55">Get the facts on other drugs</a>.</li>
</ul>

<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/teens.drugabuse.gov/activities/test-your-knowledge?_label_=Take+this+quiz+about+drug+facts" id="anch_56">Take this quiz about drug facts</a>&nbsp;with your child.

Take Action: Teach the Facts

<h4>Set clear rules for your child.</h4>

Not wanting to upset their parents is the number one reason kids give for not using drugs. Your child will be less tempted to use tobacco, alcohol, and drugs if you explain your rules clearly.

Here are some things to keep in mind when you talk to your child:

<ul>
	<li>Explain that you set rules to keep your child safe</li>
	<li>Tell your child you expect them not to use tobacco, alcohol, or drugs</li>
	<li>Let your child know what will happen if they break&nbsp;the rules — and follow through if they do</li>
	<li>Praise your child for good behavior</li>
</ul>

<h4>Help your child learn how to say “no.”</h4>

Kids say they use alcohol and other drugs to fit in with other kids. That’s why it’s important for parents to help children build the confidence to make a healthy choice when someone offers tobacco, drugs, or alcohol.&nbsp;<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/drugfree.org/article/prevention-tips-for-every-age/?_label_=Find+tips+for+preventing+drug+use+at+every+age" id="anch_59">Find tips for preventing drug use at every age</a>.&nbsp;

And check out these strategies to help you&nbsp;<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/www.drugabuse.gov/family-checkup?_label_=talk+with+your+kids+about+staying+healthy+and+drug+free" id="anch_60">talk with your kids about staying healthy and drug free</a>.

Take Action: Set Rules

<h4>Set a good example.</h4>

Here are a few steps you can take to set a good example for your child:

<ul>
	<li>If you smoke,&nbsp;<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/myhealthfinder/topics/health-conditions/diabetes/quit-smoking?_label_=make+a+plan+to+quit">make a plan to quit</a></li>
	<li>If you drink alcohol,&nbsp;<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/myhealthfinder/topics/health-conditions/heart-health/drink-alcohol-only-moderation?_label_=don%E2%80%99t+drink+too+much+or+too+often">don’t drink too much or too often</a></li>
	<li>If you have a drug problem,&nbsp;<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/myhealthfinder/topics/talk-your-doctor-about-drug-misuse?_label_=talk+with+your+doctor+about+getting+treatment">talk with your doctor about getting treatment</a></li>
	<li><a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/myhealthfinder/topics/everyday-healthy-living/safety/use-medicines-safely?_label_=Use+prescription+and+OTC%26nbsp%3Bmedicines+safely">Use prescription and OTC&nbsp;medicines safely</a></li>
	<li>Never drink or use drugs and drive</li>
</ul>

<h5>What if I’ve used drugs in the past?</h5>

Be honest with your child, but don’t give a lot of details. Do your best to make it a 2-way conversation — ask your child what they’re thinking and if they have any questions for you. Talk to your pediatrician if you’d like more tips for telling your child about your past drug use.

Take Action: Set an Example

<h4>Get help if you need it.</h4>

If you think your child may have a drug or alcohol problem, get help. Don’t wait. Getting treatment early can make a difference.&nbsp;<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/drugfree.org/article/prepare-to-take-action/?_label_=Follow+these+steps+if+you+think+your+child+is+using+drugs+or+alcohol" id="anch_70">Follow these steps if you think your child is using drugs or alcohol</a>.

<h5>What about cost?</h5>

Under the Affordable Care Act, insurance plans must cover drug and alcohol assessments for teens. Depending on your insurance plan, your child may be able to get an assessment at no cost to you. Check with your insurance company to find out more. &nbsp;

If you don't have insurance, your child may still be able to get free or low-cost assessments. Find a health center near you and ask about assessments for your child.

To learn more, check out these resources:

<ul>
	<li><a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.healthcare.gov/preventive-care-children/?_label_=Free+preventive+care+for+children+covered+by+the+Affordable+Care+Act%26nbsp%3B">Free preventive care for children covered by the Affordable Care Act&nbsp;</a></li>
	<li><a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.healthcare.gov/health-care-law-protections/?_label_=How+the+Affordable+Care+Act+protects+you%26nbsp%3B">How the Affordable Care Act protects you&nbsp;</a></li>
	<li><a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/marketplace.cms.gov/technical-assistance-resources/c2c-roadmap.pdf?_label_=Understanding+your+health+insurance+and+how+to+use+it+%5BPDF+-+698+KB%5D">Understanding your health insurance and how to use it [PDF - 698 KB]</a></li>
</ul>

Take Action: Get Help

Talk to Your Kids About Tobacco, Alcohol, and Drugs

It can be hard to know if your relationship is becoming unhealthy or unsafe. But there are things you can do to spot the warning signs of relationship violence&nbsp;and get help.

If you think your partner might be controlling or abusive, it's important to:

<ul>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Trust your feelings — if something doesn’t seem right, take it seriously</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Learn the warning signs of someone who might become controlling or&nbsp;violent</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Get help — call the&nbsp;<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/www.thehotline.org/?_label_=%3Cspan%3E%3Cspan%3E%3Cspan%3ENational+Domestic+Violence+Hotline%3C%2Fspan%3E%3C%2Fspan%3E%3C%2Fspan%3E">National Domestic Violence Hotline</a>&nbsp;at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224) to find resources in your area</li>
</ul>

If your partner is controlling or abusive, it’s better to get help right away. Controlling or violent relationships may get worse over&nbsp;time.

Remember: if your partner hurts you, it’s not your fault.

<h4>What is relationship violence?</h4>

Relationship violence is when 1 person in a relationship —&nbsp;or from a past relationship — is abusive or controlling toward the other person.&nbsp;Relationship violence can happen in a serious or casual relationship, and it can take place in person or online.&nbsp;Sometimes, both partners act in abusive or controlling ways.

Relationship violence is also called dating violence, domestic violence, or intimate partner violence. It can include:

<ul>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Physical violence —&nbsp;like pushing, hitting, or throwing things</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Sexual violence — like forcing or trying to force someone to do something sexual</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Threats of physical or sexual violence — including threatening to hurt another person or a pet</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Emotional abuse — like embarrassing a partner or keeping that person away from family and friends</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Stalking — like watching or following a partner, or sending repeated unwanted phone calls or texts</li>
</ul>

Get help if your partner is making you feel controlled or afraid — even if they haven’t hurt you physically. There are experts who can help you figure out what to do&nbsp;next.

The Basics: Definition

<h4>How do I know if my relationship is healthy?</h4>

In healthy relationships, both partners take responsibility for their actions and work together to sort out problems. In a healthy relationship, both people:

<ul>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Feel respected, supported, and valued</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Make&nbsp;decisions </li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Have friends and interests outside of the relationship</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Settle&nbsp;disagreements with open and honest communication</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Respect each other's privacy and space</li>
</ul>

The Basics: Healthy Relationships

<h4>How do I know if my relationship might become violent?</h4>

Relationship violence can start slowly and be hard to recognize. For example, when people first start dating, it’s common to want to spend a lot of time together. But your partner asking you to spend less time with other people can also be a sign that&nbsp;your partner is trying to control your time.

Ask yourself these questions:

<ul>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Does my partner disrespect or insult me?</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Does my partner blame me for problems that aren’t my fault, like how they treat me?</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Does my partner make most of the decisions in our relationship?</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Am I ever afraid to tell my partner something?</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Do I ever feel forced to do things that I don't want to do?</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Has my partner ever forced or pressured me to do something sexual with them when I didn’t want to?</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Does my partner promise to change and then keep doing the same hurtful things?</li>
</ul>

<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/signs-abuse?_label_=Get+more+information+about%26nbsp%3Bthe%26nbsp%3Bsigns+of+abusive+relationships">Get more information about&nbsp;the&nbsp;signs of abusive relationships</a>.

<h4>What if I’m not sure if my relationship is violent?</h4>

It’s okay if you’re not sure — you can still get help.

If you have questions about your relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224) or&nbsp;<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/www.thehotline.org/what-is-live-chat/?_label_=%3Cspan%3E%3Cspan%3E%3Cspan%3Echat+online%3C%2Fspan%3E%3C%2Fspan%3E%3C%2Fspan%3E">chat online</a>&nbsp;with a person trained to help. The hotline and chat are free and available 24/7. You don’t even have to give your name.

If you’re in danger right now, call 911.

The Basics: Warning Signs

<h4>How can relationship violence affect health?</h4>

While physical violence can cause physical injuries, the stress of any kind of relationship violence or abuse can also lead to other serious problems. These include:

<ul>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Eating disorders</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Trouble sleeping</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Depression, anxiety, or other mental health problems — like panic attacks or thinking about suicide</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD — a type of anxiety disorder you can get after experiencing something traumatic or harmful</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Trouble trusting people and building relationships</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Drinking too much alcohol or using drugs</li>
</ul>

The Basics: Health Effects

Relationship violence is not your fault or your responsibility. But if you think your partner is controlling or abusive, there are things you can do to get help.

<h4>Make a plan.</h4>

If you're in a relationship with someone who is violent or might become violent, make a safety plan. This is important whether you’re planning to leave your partner or not.&nbsp;<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-a-safety-plan/?_label_=Use+this+tool+to+make+a+safety+plan">Use this tool to make a safety plan</a>. 

<h4>Protect yourself online.</h4>

When you look at information online, your computer keeps a record of sites you’ve visited. And when you make calls or send text messages from a smartphone, the phone stores that information.

When you use social media, only post personal information you’re comfortable with other people knowing. Even if your accounts are private, people that follow you can still share information that you post with others. 

<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/internet-safety/?_label_=Follow+these+technology+and+social+media+safety+tips">Follow these technology and social media safety tips</a>&nbsp;if your partner is controlling or abusive.

Take Action: Plan Ahead

If you think your relationship is unhealthy —&nbsp;or you're worried about your safety — get help now.

<h4>Who can I call?</h4>

If you need help or have questions about your relationship, call the&nbsp;<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/www.thehotline.org/?_label_=%3Cspan%3E%3Cspan%3E%3Cspan%3ENational+Domestic+Violence+Hotline%3C%2Fspan%3E%3C%2Fspan%3E%3C%2Fspan%3E">National Domestic Violence Hotline</a> at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233). You'll be able to find a domestic violence&nbsp;agency near you or talk to a counselor over the phone.&nbsp;If you’re in danger right now, call 911.

<h4>What kind of help can I get?</h4>

Domestic violence agencies provide:

<ul>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Emotional support</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Safety planning</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">A safe place to stay in an emergency</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Legal help</li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet">Help with housing</li>
</ul>

<h4>Can I get help for free?</h4>

Yes. Domestic violence agencies offer free services, like hotlines and&nbsp;counseling. They also help people find resources, like housing or lawyers.

Under the Affordable Care Act, insurance plans must cover screening and counseling for domestic and interpersonal violence for all women. Depending on your insurance plan, you may be able to get screening and counseling at no cost to you. Check with your insurance company to find out more.

If you don’t have insurance, you may still be able to get free or low-cost help. <a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov?_label_=Find+a+health+center+near+you+and+ask+about+domestic+violence+services">Find a health center near you and ask about domestic violence services</a>.

To learn more, check out these resources:

<ul>
	<li class="MsoListBullet"><a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.healthcare.gov/preventive-care-women/?_label_=Free+preventive+care+for+women+covered+by+the+Affordable+Care+Act">Free preventive care for women covered by the Affordable Care Act</a></li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet"><a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.healthcare.gov/health-care-law-protections/?_label_=How+the+Affordable+Care+Act+protects+you">How the Affordable Care Act protects you</a></li>
	<li class="MsoListBullet"><a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/marketplace.cms.gov/technical-assistance-resources/c2c-roadmap.pdf?_label_=Understanding+your+health+insurance+and+how+to+use+it+%5BPDF+-+698+KB%5D">Understanding your health insurance and how to use it [PDF - 698 KB]</a></li>
</ul>

<h4>What if I think someone else is in a controlling or violent relationship?</h4>

You can <a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/get-help/how-help-friend?_label_=use+these+tips+to%26nbsp%3Bhelp+someone+in+an+unhealthy+relationship">use these tips to&nbsp;help someone in an unhealthy relationship</a>.

Watch for Warning Signs of Relationship Violence

Talking honestly and openly with your kids about sex and relationships is important — and it's never too early to start. Your support can help them make healthy choices and avoid risks as they grow up.It may be hard to know where to start, especially if your parents didn’t talk to you about sex when you were growing up. The following tips and strategies can help.<h4>What do I say?</h4>Kids have different questions and concerns about sex at different ages. As your children get&nbsp;older, the things you talk about will change. Remember to:<ul><li>Talk early and often — you don’t have to fit everything into 1&nbsp;conversation!</li><li>Be ready to answer questions — children’s questions can tell you a lot about what they already know</li><li>Listen carefully to your kids' opinions, even if you don’t agree</li><li>Try using things that come up on TV, in music, or on social media to start a conversation</li><li>Be honest about how you're feeling — for example, if you're embarrassed or uncomfortable, it’s okay to say so</li></ul><h4>Will talking to my kids really make a difference?</h4>Parents are the most important influence on a young person's decisions about relationships and sex —&nbsp;even more important than friends, siblings, or the media. Most young people say that it would be easier to make decisions about sex if they could talk openly and honestly with their parents.Young people who talk with their parents about sex are more likely to put off having sex until they're older. They're also more likely to make healthy choices, like using condoms to prevent pregnancy and STIs (sexually transmitted infections), if they do choose to have sex. STIs are also called STDs (sexually transmitted diseases).&nbsp;

The Basics: Overview 

<h4>When is the right time to start talking?</h4>It’s never too early to start talking to children about their bodies. Be sure to use the medical names for all body parts and explain what they do. These resources can help:<ul><li><a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/kidshealth.org/en/parents/female-reproductive-system.html?_label_=Reproductive+systems+with+a+vagina%2C+uterus%2C+and+ovaries">Reproductive systems with a vagina, uterus, and ovaries</a> (often called female reproductive systems)</li><li><a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/kidshealth.org/en/parents/male-reproductive.html?_label_=Reproductive+systems+with+a+penis+and+testicles">Reproductive systems with a penis and testicles</a>&nbsp;(often called male reproductive systems)</li></ul><h4>What do I tell my kids about puberty?</h4>Puberty is when your child's body starts to develop and change into an adult&nbsp;body. Puberty is different for each child.<ul><li>For girls, puberty usually starts between ages 8&nbsp;and 15 years.&nbsp;<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/medlineplus.gov/ency/patientinstructions/000651.htm?_label_=Get+more+information+about%26nbsp%3Bwhat+puberty+is+like+for+girls">Get more information about&nbsp;what puberty is like for girls</a>.</li><li>For boys, it usually begins between ages 9&nbsp;and 16 years.&nbsp;<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/medlineplus.gov/ency/patientinstructions/000650.htm?_label_=Get+more+information+about%26nbsp%3Bwhat+puberty+is+like+for+boys">Get more information about&nbsp;what puberty is like for boys</a>.</li></ul>Puberty can be a confusing and overwhelming time for many young people. You can help your kids by:<ul><li>Telling them that puberty is a normal part of growing up</li><li>Sharing&nbsp;facts to help them understand their changing bodies and feelings</li><li>Talking about your own puberty experiences when you were growing up</li></ul>As your kids get older, they may be less likely to ask you questions. So it’s a good idea for you to start conversations with them.

The Basics: Bodies and Puberty

<h4>What if my child has questions about being a boy or girl?</h4>The important thing is to believe what your child tells you about their gender. Let them know you love them, and thank them for sharing this part of their life with you.Some kids act or feel like they're a different gender than the sex that's listed on their birth certificate. For example, a child who was assigned male at birth may feel like a girl, not a boy. And some kids don't feel like a boy or a girl.When kids act or feel like they're a different gender than their sex assigned at birth, it's sometimes called being "gender-diverse." Some kids may feel this way from very early on, while others may start to feel this way during puberty or as they get older.<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/gradeschool/Pages/Gender-Diverse-Transgender-Children.aspx?_label_=Get+more+tips+for+parenting+a+gender-diverse+child">Get more tips for parenting a gender-diverse child</a>.

The Basics: Gender

<h4>How can I help my kids build healthy, respectful&nbsp;relationships?</h4>Start conversations about what healthy and respectful relationships look like. Talk with your child about what they should expect for themselves and others in their relationships with friends, as well as in romantic or sexual relationships.Talk about the importance of respect in all relationships, including giving and receiving consent in sexual relationships. And try to model healthy and respectful relationships for your child as much as possible. &nbsp;Families have different expectations about when and how kids can start dating or having romantic relationships. Talk about your family expectations for healthy, respectful relationships before your child starts dating — and keep checking in with them often.<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/youth.gov/youth-topics/teen-dating-violence/characteristics?_label_=Learn+more+about+healthy+relationships">Learn more about healthy relationships</a>. You can also <a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/kidshealth.org/en/teens/healthy-relationship.html?_label_=share+this+resource+about+healthy+relationships+with+your+kids">share this resource about healthy relationships with your kids</a>.<h4>Talk about different kinds of relationships, including relationships with opposite-sex and same-sex partners.</h4>When you talk about relationships and sex, don't assume your child is only interested in opposite-sex relationships. Some young people may be interested in same-sex relationships or identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual.&nbsp;And some may not be interested in sexual relationships at all — they may identify as asexual, for example.It's important to let your child know that you love them and that you appreciate them sharing this part of their life with you. Young people who identify as lesbian, gay, and bisexual are less likely to be depressed if their parents are supportive. They’re also more likely to make healthy choices about sex and relationships.&nbsp; <a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/protective/factsheets/parents_influence_lgb.htm?_label_=Find+out+how+you+can+support+a+lesbian%2C+gay%2C+bisexual%2C+or+transgender+child" id="anch_49">Find out how you can support a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender child</a>.

The Basics: Healthy, Respectful Relationships

<h4>What do I tell my child about preventing pregnancy and STIs?</h4>Make sure your kids have the facts they need to make healthy and informed decisions about their sexual health. This includes information about pregnancy and STIs like HIV and chlamydia.Even if you don't think your child is having sex or in a dating or romantic relationship, talk with them about ways to prevent pregnancy and STIs.Tell your child about different kinds of birth control. It's also important to make sure your child knows how to access and use condoms to prevent STIs —&nbsp;even if they're also using another method to prevent pregnancy.Check out these resources to learn&nbsp;more:<ul><li><a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/myhealthfinder/topics/health-conditions/hiv-and-other-stds/talk-your-teen-about-preventing-stds?_label_=Talk+with+Your+Teen+About+Preventing+STIs">Talk with Your Teen About Preventing STIs</a></li><li><a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/myhealthfinder/topics/everyday-healthy-living/sexual-health/choose-right-birth-control?_label_=Choose+the+Right+Birth+Control">Choose the Right Birth Control</a></li><li><a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/kidshealth.org/en/parents/questions-sex.html?_label_=Questions+and+Answers+About+Sex">Questions and Answers About Sex</a></li><li><a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/kidshealth.org/parent/growth/sexual_health/about_bc.html?_label_=About+Birth+Control%3A+What+Parents+Need+to+Know" id="anch_56">About Birth Control: What Parents Need to Know</a>&nbsp;</li></ul><h5>Ask your kids where they get information about relationships, sex, pregnancy, and STIs.</h5>Make sure you know where your child is getting health information. Some sources of information may be more medically accurate than others.&nbsp;<h5>Encourage your child to talk with their doctor about sexual health.</h5>Doctors can be a trustworthy source of information about relationships, sex, pregnancy, and STIs. Next time you bring your child for a doctor visit, ask if they’d like to spend a few minutes alone with the doctor to ask questions.&nbsp;<a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/protective/factsheets/OneonOnetime_FactSheet.htm?_label_=Learn+why+one-on-one+time+with+their+doctor+is+important+for+teens">Learn why one-on-one time with their doctor is important for teens</a>.

The Basics: Pregnancy and STIs

Kids need information from adults they trust. Use these tips to start a conversation&nbsp;today.<h4>Talk early and often.</h4>Start having conversations about your values and expectations when your kids are young. That way, they'll&nbsp;get used to sharing information and opinions with you. This will make it easier for you to keep talking as they&nbsp;get&nbsp;older.There are lots of ways to talk to kids about relationships and sex. Try having lots of little conversations instead of 1 big talk. And remember, if you’ve been putting it off, it’s never too late to start a conversation about sexual health.Get tips on how to:<ul><li><a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/pages/Communication-Dos-and-Donts.aspx?_label_=Communicate+with+your+child">Communicate with your child</a></li><li><a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/protective/factsheets/talking_teens.htm?_label_=Talk+to+your+teen+about+sex+and+relationships" id="anch_61">Talk to your teen about sex and relationships</a></li></ul><h4>Start small.</h4>Try not to give your kids too much information at once. Give them time between conversations to think. They may come back later and ask questions.<h4>Practice active listening.</h4>Active listening is a way to show your kids that you're paying attention and trying to understand their thoughts and feelings. Try these tips:<ul><li>Nod your head and make eye contact to show that you're interested in what they have to say.</li><li>Repeat back what your child says in your own words. For example:&nbsp;“What I'm hearing&nbsp;is that you're feeling frustrated with our rules. You feel that you're old enough to make your own&nbsp;decisions.”</li></ul><a href="https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/Pages/Components-of-Good-Communication.aspx?_label_=Get+more+listening+tips+for+parents" id="anch_62">Get more listening tips for parents</a>.

<h4>Ask questions.</h4>Give your kids time and space to talk about their feelings and thoughts. Ask for their opinions. Be sure to listen, even if you don't agree.Try asking questions like:<ul><li>Have you talked about puberty, sex, or relationships in health class? With friends? Do you have any questions?</li><li>When do you think it’s okay to start dating or having romantic relationships?</li><li>When do you think a person is ready to have sex?</li></ul>Always take your kids' values and opinions seriously. This shows that you respect what they have&nbsp;to say — and it can help them feel more comfortable talking to you.<h4>Be ready to answer questions.</h4>When your kids ask you questions, ask them what they think first. Their answers will tell you more about what they're asking and why. This also gives you time to think about your answer.Do your best to answer questions honestly and correctly. If you don’t know the answer to a question, it's okay! You can say, “I’m not sure. Let’s look that up&nbsp;together.”Keep in mind that kids get information about sex from lots of different sources, like friends, the internet, social media, and TV. They may get conflicting and inaccurate information, which can be confusing. That’s another reason why it’s important for you to answer questions as clearly and accurately as you can.

Take Action: Ask and Answer Questions

<h4>Use media to start a conversation.</h4>Kids see and hear messages about relationships and sex every day in the media —&nbsp;like on TV, in music, and online. When something comes up in&nbsp;a TV show or song, use it as an opportunity to start a conversation with your kids.<h4>Talk in the car or in the kitchen.</h4>It can sometimes be easier to talk about sex if you're doing something else at the same time. Try asking a question when you're driving or cooking dinner.You can still show&nbsp;that you're listening by nodding your head or repeating what your child says to you.<h4>Be honest.</h4>It’s okay to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. Be honest about how you're feeling. Remember, when you're honest with your kids, they're more likely to be honest with you.<h4>Talk with other parents.</h4>Keep in mind that you're not the only parent thinking about how to talk to kids about relationships and sex. Ask other parents how conversations with their kids are going. You may be able to get useful tips and ideas.Talking to other parents is also a great way to learn more about the messages other kids are getting about relationships and sex.

Take Action: Conversation Tips

Talk to Your Kids About Sex and Healthy Relationships

It might be hard to talk to a partner about getting tested for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), also called sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) — but it’s important to have the conversation. Chances are your partner will be glad you brought it up.<h2>Talk before you have sex.</h2>You can say:<ul><li>“Let’s get tested before we have sex. That way we can look out for each other."</li><li>“Many people who have an STI don't know it. Why take a chance when we can know for sure?”</li></ul>There are other things you may want to talk to a sex partner about. For example:<ul><li>Sexual history —&nbsp;like what type of protection you usually use&nbsp;(for example, condoms or dental dams) or the last time you got tested for STIs (including HIV)</li><li>Risk factors —&nbsp;like whether you’ve had sex without a condom or used drugs with needles</li></ul><h2>Share the facts.</h2>You can say:<ul><li>“Most STIs are easy to treat. And when they’re treated early, STIs are less likely to cause long-term health problems.”</li><li>“STI tests are quick, simple, and usually painless. For example, rapid HIV tests can provide results from just a swab inside the mouth in only 20 minutes."</li><li>"If you want to get tested at home, you can get an HIV home test or self-testing kits for other STIs."</li><li>"If you don't feel comfortable talking about STIs with your regular doctor, you can get tested at a clinic instead."&nbsp;</li></ul><h2>Show that you care.</h2>You can say:<ul><li>“I really care about you. I want to make sure we're both healthy.”</li><li>“I've been&nbsp;tested for STIs, including HIV. Are you willing to do that, too?”</li><li>“Let’s get tested together.”</li></ul><h2>Agree to stay safe.</h2>You can say:<ul><li>“If we’re going to have sex, using condoms is a good way to protect us both from STIs. Let’s use condoms every time we have sex.”</li><li>“We can enjoy sex more if we know it’s safe.”</li></ul>

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